So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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