Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
