I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
