apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
