He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
