she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
