Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
