i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
