are you still at the devil's house?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
