these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
