and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
