evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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