omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
