maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My vagina is officially offended.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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