I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
