I accidentally had phone sex last night
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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