Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
