Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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