it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
