Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
