Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
