I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
