I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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