just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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