Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
