I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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