I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
