Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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