There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
