bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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