Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You pole danced in your parka.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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