I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize