your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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