walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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