she was so not down for the gang bang
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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