I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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