Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
