Your tits are I can't wait for
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
