my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
