If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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