Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
