I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
