I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
