We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
