i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
