if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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