Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
