Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
