The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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