am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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