Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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