oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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