Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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