I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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