i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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