wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
