Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
false alarm, still single
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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