I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize