this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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