Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
