i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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