Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
