I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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