after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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