Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize