you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
