My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
