another moral hangover. fuck.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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