We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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