we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
