Hey man sorry I got all grabby
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
