arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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