He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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