Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
