I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
