I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
