I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
