people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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